{"product_id":"chief-anxiety-officer-t-shirt-funny-german-shepherd-tee","title":"Chief Anxiety Officer T-Shirt — Funny German Shepherd Tee","description":"Soft, reliable, and a little bit cheeky — this classic crew tee brings comfort and personality to everyday wear. The medium-weight cotton drapes comfortably while holding up to repeated washes. At the center, a vintage-style badge graphic reads “Chief Anxiety Officer” around the portrait of a vigilant German Shepherd, blending humor with warm, slightly retro military-green tones. Wear it to lighten a tense day, share a knowing smile with fellow dog lovers, or layer under a jacket for casual meetups. The relaxed fit and ribbed collar keep the silhouette timeless; tear-away label and stable shoulder tape make it comfortable for all-day wear. Ethically sourced cotton and OEKO-TEX® certification mean the shirt feels good and aligns with responsible production values.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% US cotton (solid colors) — medium weight (180 g\/m²) for year-round comfort\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular knit (no side seams) with shoulder tape and ribbed collar for shape retention\u003cbr\u003e- DTG and DTF printing for crisp front badge graphic and sleeve\/neck details\u003cbr\u003e- Tear-away label for itch-free wear; classic relaxed fit and crew neckline\u003cbr\u003e- OEKO-TEX® certified, ethically sourced cotton; meets EU safety standards with 2-year EU warranty\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Do not iron\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 5000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Nicaragua\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":52796541894967,"sku":"10541626530832929053","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":52588467913015,"sku":"29938580848291768101","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":52796541927735,"sku":"26690365469431862016","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":52796541960503,"sku":"12838083690364362368","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":52588467945783,"sku":"22823469076515439121","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":52796541993271,"sku":"32384503559989509720","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":52796542026039,"sku":"10765967605996850082","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":52588467978551,"sku":"70512809359086819198","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":52796542058807,"sku":"12354411099369791162","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":52796542091575,"sku":"30703688895452299357","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":52588468011319,"sku":"33641730640602160680","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":52796542124343,"sku":"24625595495799400350","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":52796542157111,"sku":"10587238027487151760","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":52588468044087,"sku":"33081370854105820871","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":52796542189879,"sku":"27443391329955484571","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":52796542222647,"sku":"48581483681275981045","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":52588468076855,"sku":"25738946348558494168","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":52796542255415,"sku":"19438437121991334841","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":52796542288183,"sku":"30202206242691014405","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":52588468109623,"sku":"21299738116885989586","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":52796542320951,"sku":"51963493668526442316","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":52796542353719,"sku":"96523543093163150232","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":52588468142391,"sku":"25432022295497074354","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":52796542386487,"sku":"10263211736481635852","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0928\/7702\/9687\/files\/20260701181303-1f175788-0616-6c76-878f-66a360d36836.png?v=1786154396","url":"https:\/\/www.paranoidpups.com\/products\/chief-anxiety-officer-t-shirt-funny-german-shepherd-tee","provider":"Paranoid Pups","version":"1.0","type":"link"}