{"product_id":"chief-anxiety-officer-t-shirt-cute-dachshund-pet-humor-tee","title":"Chief Anxiety Officer T-Shirt — Cute Dachshund Pet Humor Tee","description":"Soft, worn-in comfort with a wink. This classic crew tee carries a small, playful badge on the chest — a dachshund pictured inside an olive-green ring with the words “Chief Anxiety Officer.” It reads like a private joke for anyone who lives with nervous energy or loves a dog who takes life seriously. Lightweight but sturdy cotton, a relaxed cut, and a smooth print make it easy to wear on long mornings, anxious afternoons, or quiet evenings when you need a little humor and a lot of comfort. Layer it under a cardigan, pull it on for a low-key coffee run, or wear it around the house when you want something familiar that also speaks your mind.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eProduct features\u003cbr\u003e- 100% cotton solid colors; medium-weight 180 g\/m² fabric for year-round wear\u003cbr\u003e- Tubular knit construction with no side seams for a cleaner look and less waste\u003cbr\u003e- Ribbed, seamless collar and shoulder tape to maintain shape and prevent stretching\u003cbr\u003e- Dual printing: crisp DTF on sleeves\/inner label and DTG for the main chest design\u003cbr\u003e- Tear-away label, OEKO-TEX® STANDARD 100 certified, and ethically sourced US cotton\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003eCare instructions\u003cbr\u003e- Non-chlorine: bleach as needed\u003cbr\u003e- Do not iron\u003cbr\u003e- Do not dryclean\u003cbr\u003e- Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F)\u003cbr\u003e- Tumble dry: low heat\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Gildan 5000, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWarnings, Hazard\u003c\/strong\u003e: For adults, Made in Nicaragua\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Machine wash: cold (max 30C or 90F), Non-chlorine: bleach as needed, Tumble dry: low heat, Do not iron, Do not dryclean\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Sport Grey \/ S","offer_id":52796577186103,"sku":"17175094316914822306","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":52588289261879,"sku":"24628964752851493935","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ S","offer_id":52796577218871,"sku":"22274180610552665055","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ M","offer_id":52796577251639,"sku":"10723656154143937909","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":52588289294647,"sku":"16307126617352143985","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ M","offer_id":52796577284407,"sku":"44269389505652557627","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ L","offer_id":52796577317175,"sku":"18357626015356426058","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":52588289327415,"sku":"18401810115536435738","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ L","offer_id":52796577349943,"sku":"31255640206784483391","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ XL","offer_id":52796577382711,"sku":"30402098570837301524","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":52588289360183,"sku":"84226543877218766094","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ XL","offer_id":52796577415479,"sku":"27923345077228487084","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 2XL","offer_id":52796577448247,"sku":"20516041067022840875","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":52588289392951,"sku":"24565673288500181336","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 2XL","offer_id":52796577481015,"sku":"22284060644276592827","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 3XL","offer_id":52796577513783,"sku":"61385189538586043884","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 3XL","offer_id":52588289425719,"sku":"24798046601177372880","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 3XL","offer_id":52796577546551,"sku":"10459318868050473237","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 4XL","offer_id":52796577579319,"sku":"26049569253292406524","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 4XL","offer_id":52588289458487,"sku":"32660198432014064104","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 4XL","offer_id":52796577612087,"sku":"27969724921263021218","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Sport Grey \/ 5XL","offer_id":52796577644855,"sku":"30645724245450151463","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 5XL","offer_id":52588289491255,"sku":"28420994518392717438","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Black \/ 5XL","offer_id":52796577677623,"sku":"29334031772144577517","price":24.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0928\/7702\/9687\/files\/20260701170546-1f1756f1-a0cc-6046-bbbc-9a0a8bc35174.png?v=1786154330","url":"https:\/\/www.paranoidpups.com\/products\/chief-anxiety-officer-t-shirt-cute-dachshund-pet-humor-tee","provider":"Paranoid Pups","version":"1.0","type":"link"}